Canary Caged Postmortem and O2A2 Jam Reflection

The cruel reality of being a writer is that you'll think some of your stories are so awfully written they shouldn't see the light of day. The cruel reality of committing to a game jam is that sometimes you have to share these awful stories with the world. Still, there are things to learn, good to be found, and reflections to be had. Without falling into self-loathing, let's talk about how Canary Caged came to be, the things I like about it, and what I wish I had done better.

Conception

Originally, Canary Caged was going to be my entry for Velox Formido 2. I brainstormed the space for multiple endings, a way to actually leave the mine so the canary button can serve a tangible purpose, and a scene where Louisa-May tries to kill you with her own hands if you manage to kill Dawson and survive the mines. The jam theme "You're Not Them" was too hard to shoe-horn in, so I tucked the canary back in its cage to use another day.

The conception for Canary Caged came during a time when there was a lot of horrible things happening to trans people (especially trans women of color) in the West. A lot  of people kept referring to trans women as the canary in the coal mine--a warning to let us know the rest of us would be in danger soon. Everywhere I looked people kept crying that trans women were the canaries. That bad things were to come. They're the canaries! They're the canaries! The canaries in the coal mine!

"THE CANARY DIES," I wanted to scream. "THE WHOLE POINT OF THE CANARY IS TO OFFER THEM AS A SACRIFICE SO YOU CAN LIVE. THE CANARY DIES." Trans women are not canaries for us to watch suffocate so we can finally realize we went too far and turn back--the canary already dead, the sacrifice already made. The entire metaphor is so fucking stupid, and I wish people would realize how dehumanizing and insulting this analogy is.

Canary Caged asks at its core what sacrifices we are willing to force others to make for our own safety, our own purposes, our own desires. The canary doesn't need to enter the mines. It doesn't even need to be put in the cage in the first place. We forced it there because we'd rather use its screams (or lack thereof) as a warning than ever put ourselves in danger. "But I'm in the mine too! I'm in just as much danger!" As if you're not stronger and more privileged than the canary. As if you're not the only one with the freedom of choice. As if it's not your dumb ass who decided to enter the mines.

It's Lee's own selfishness that decides the canary's fate, that tries to decide Louisa-May's fate. It's Lee's own selfishness that he forgets between the canary and the woman at least one of them has the ability to fight back.

"It's so sad the canary I forced into the coal mine for my own comfort died."

Fuck off.

Writing

I went about the one thousand word limit in the worst possible way. Instead of working with it, I tried to strong arm all of my ideas into fitting. There are ways to be sparse with words, to make each one count. I was angry when I planned this story, I continued to be angry when I wrote it, and I fought against the word count every step of the way. My struggle to coexist with the word count results in character agency meaning next to nothing in this game. You can check on the canary all you want, but you'll always die in the end. A final fuck you for caging the canary.

On a positive note, I love Dawson as a character and had so much fun writing his dialogue. This man does not know the meaning of awkwardness and cannot take a hint. He wanted to eat the word count alive, and I let him.

Dawson's primary job, however, is to bring Louisa-May into the story. He's perhaps one of the only people in the world who truly cares about her. He works as an imperfect echo of her voice. An echo that can learn and adapt and that tries to be better than he was before the start of the game. Because he genuinely respects Louisa-May, he tries to genuinely understand her. Why did she marry Lee? he asks again and again, much to Lee's annoyance. Why did she marry you? Why did she marry you? Why did she marry you?

Dawson's willingness to reflect on Louisa-May's ideals is what leads him to the conclusion that its sadistic to force the canary to suffer for your own gains and what allows him to make his lamentation at the end. Hopefully, every piece of dialogue reveals something about Louisa-May, her situation, and the beginnings of Dawson's reflection of it all. By the end of the game, Dawson feels more regret for having failed Louisa-May than anger for nearly falling in the crossfire of her murderous desires. Lee was willing to martyr Louisa-May for his selfish ideas of happiness, Louisa-May fought back by turning him into the sacrifice that would allow her freedom (not caring if Dawson had to be a part of that sacrifice), and Dawson decided he would do what he can to atone for allowing Louisa-May to fall into such a position in the first place. It's a game about sacrifices, and Dawson finally learns that sacrifice is something we have to make, not something we can force from others.

The Canary

The canary button was never even a question. A game about a canary signaling your impending doom would always have to have a button to check on the canary. I added a lot of checks to try and make checking on the canary as unobtrusive to the story as possible. There might be some repeated dialogue, but hopefully not much. A known glitch is that checking on the canary during a choice forces the canary to make the choice for you. Another known glitch is that sometimes a blank thought box will flash on the screen when checking on the canary and then hovering over it again. The coding is messy, but it mostly does what I need it to do. Labeling this one as good enough.

As usual, the art is from Val. The initial canary sketch came from Velox Formido 2, which I then colored for O2A2 jam. Val drew and colored the cage for me so I could focus on creating the mess that is the background. I'm so lucky to live with an artist I can boss around <3

Within the last stages of the jam, I stripped as much of the Ren'py controls as possible so I wouldn't have to worry about quick menus and about pages and the likes. I do regret this as I think including as much info in the game itself about the creator/assets is important because you never know when a game will be disconnected from its web page. I planned, however, to have this game be web playable only, so I figured not including this info would be okay. With itch.io deindexing so many games with no warning whatsoever, it solidified my belief that its vital to let players download games and include everything they need to know about the game in the game itself. As storytellers we need to be aware of how accessible and easy to preserve our stories are. There's not even a place to read Homestuck now. What the fuck are we doing.

In the very near future (tonight, hopefully), I'll be uploading the download files for Canary Caged. Possibly with a proper credits page, possibly not. Download my games, stick them onto flash drives, share them with anyone and everyone, reupload them elsewhere if you really want. Go fucking crazy because you never know when someone will try to take that away from you.

Jam Specific Thoughts

I played nearly every browser playable game for Only One of Any Asset 2025 Jam. In total, I played one hundred and fifty two games and I learned a lot. 

First, scale is everything. The games that understood the limitations of the jam and worked within that told a story that felt much fuller than my attempt to strong arm the word limit into submission.

Second, the programming can be just as much a part of the story as the story itself. How do you move the sprites? Do you do anything with the camera? What are the ways you can bring the elements you have to life?

Third, I appreciate a good UI. I can't create them to save my life, but there were so many games where I cooed over the settings menu or grinned at the textbox. The GUI can contribute to the story if you let it.

Fourth, letting players think about the implications of their choices can be more important than showing the fall out. For micro visual novels especially, creating an impression of a story can be even more important than creating the story itself. How does the story stick with the player once they finish playing? How does it haunt them?

Five, game dev should be fun! Get silly with your stories! Add that handsome man to your game because you think it should have a handsome man. Play with the language and make shit up! Writing is painful and awful and I hate it, but it is also so much fun and fulfilling and I love it.

Lastly, please include a full screen button if you're making a web playable build. I struggled so much trying to get my computer to make games full screen when there was no button. If you love me, you will add one on the game page settings.

Final Thoughts

At three hundred plays, Canary Caged is my most played game, the only one to have a Let's Play, and the first to receive a bot comment (which I promptly reported and had deleted). That's a lot of attention for a game I don't particularly enjoy. In contrast, my favorite creation remains my least played game with sub fifty downloads. As an artist, there's a loss of control when you release your works into the world, and you have to be willing to make peace with that. Joining a popular game jam increases the chance of people finding your game and playing it compared to not joining a jam at all. Forcing people to download your game to play might make them less willing than having a web version they can immediately access. And sometimes things get popular just because they do and there's no real reason for it. People might love everything you hate about your stories, and they might hate everything you love. As critical as I sound in this reflection, I hope my responses to all the comments I've received never sound anything less than completely appreciative. At the end of the day, I am so incredibly appreciative of everything. I can make games. I can share them with others. I can start conversations about topics and themes that are important to me. I'll always love all of that more than I can ever hate it. Some days the self-loathing is big, but I'm learning to do things imperfectly and to keep improving and moving forward.

Next up in my dev journey is to keep working on Celestial Signs, to possibly join Velox Fabula 3, to keep loving my games even as I hate some of them, and to keep telling the stories I want to tell.

Thanks for reading this far, and remember to call your payment processor and support queer creators. 

Stay safe, stay alive, stay hopeful <3